In practice this means…

Recorded, streamed or Zoom Services only until Sunday 7 March, Lent III.

Tuesdays, 6pm Plainsong Vespers still only on “Friends of St Michael’s” Facebook group.

Resume Public Worship in St Michael’s Church. 

Wed 10 Mar. Worshipers may attend 9.30 Matins, 10am Mass in St Michael’s Church.

 Sun 14 Mar in St Michael’s, 11am Mass for Laetare & Mothering Sunday, Lent IV. Communion wafer will be brought to you in the Pews.

 Wed 17 Mar, St Patrick, 9.30 Matins, 10am Mass in Church.

 Sun 21 Mar, in Church, 11am Mass for Passion Sunday, Lent V.

 Wed 24 Mar, Eve of Annunciation, 9.40 Matins, 10am Mass in Church.

 Sun 28 Mar, in Church, 11am Mass for Palm Sunday. Blessing of Palms but no Procession. Sung Passion Gospel.

 HOLY WEEK – reduced to allow approx. 48 hours between Services in each Church.

 Tue 30 Mar, 6pm Plainsong Vespers on Facebook group

 Wed 31 Mar, NO Stations of the Cross. 9.30Matins, 10am Mass in Church.

 Thu 1 Apr, 7.30pm Mass for Maundy Thursday at St Michael’s. Probably NO Foot-washing. Stripping of Altar and Altar of Repose, to be decided.

 Fri 2 Apr, Good Friday, NO Liturgy of Presanctified or Veneration of the Cross.

Service of Good Friday Readings and Reflections at St David’s Church.

NO Evening Tenebrae Service – there is a recording available.

 Sat 3 Apr, Holy Saturday, 8pm Easter Vigil Mass – Ceremonies of the New Fire, Paschal Candle, Exultet, Renewal of Baptismal Vows. At St Michael’s.

 Sun 4 Apr, Easter Day, NO Mass at St Michael’s.

9.30am Easter Eucharist at St David’s Church.

The provision of Music for Sundays and Feast Days will depend on Resources and Church of England Rules. Currently Organ music and up to 3 Cantors are allowed. Congregational singing is not allowed.

The post Lent & Holy Week 2021 appeared first on St Michael & All Angels.

In early April, our Peregrine Falcon pair laid 3 eggs – we hope for chicks to hatch around 8-11 May.

We are glad that the “Exeter Pride” Service will continue this year at the more central venue of St Petrock’s Church on the High Street, at 10.45am on Saturday 11th May – do support this if you can.

We are grateful to Stephanie Aplin for taking up the mantle of Chapel Warden, and to Fr Dominic Cyrus, Vice-Principal of South West Ministry Training Course, who will be helping our Clergy team with Services.

Sunday 5 May, Easter 3/II. 11Am Sung Mass. Hymns 345, 155, 486. Missa l’Hora passa, Viadana. Motet: Christ the Lord is Risen Again, Foster. We welcome Fr Dominic Cyrus as Celebrant and Preacher. At 12noon there will be our monthly Bountiful Table of baking, preserves & produce in support of Church funds.
6pm Choral Evensong & Benediction. Led by Fr Nigel Guthrie. Byrd Responses. Psalm 86. Hymn 294. Canticles: Dyson in F. Anthem: If ye be risen again with Christ, Gibbons. O salutaris 269, Tantum Ergo 268.

Sat 11 May, 10.45am at St Petrock’s Church, High Street. A Service of Blessing & Solidarity with Exeter Pride led by Fr Nigel Guthrie, Rev Hannah Alderson & Canon Chris Palmer – all welcome, of any faith, gender, sexuality or none.

Sun 12 May, Easter 4/III Good Shepherd. 11Am Mass. Hymns 362, 381, 457. Mass in F, Rheinberger. Psalm 23, Howard Goodall. Celebrant & Preacher,Fr Nigel.

Sat 18 May, 9-11am at St David’s Church. Big Breakfast in support of Christian Aid – very worth our support.

Sun 19 May, Easter 5/IV. 11am. Hymns 484, 420, 445. Missa Lauda Sion, Palestrina. The Call, Vaughan Williams. We welcome Ven David Gunn-Johnson.

Sat 25 May, 9am. Parish Men’s Breakfast in the Orangery at The Imperial.

Sun 26 May, Easter 6/Rogation Sunday. 11am. Hymns Processional booklet, 364, 342 (t178). Mass in C&F, Stanford. O Lord, give thy Holy Spirit, Tallis. Celebrant & Preacher, Fr Dominic Cyrus.

Wed 29 May, 7.30pm at Parish Church of St Michael, Cheriton, near Winchester. The Institution of Rev Christopher Durrant as Rector of the Upper Itchen Benefice.

Thursday 30 May, Ascension Day. 7.30am, Sung Matins.
7.30pm Sung Mass of the Ascension. Hymns 130, 332, 134. Missa Brevissima, Casciolini. Motet: God is gone up, Hutchings. Ven David Gunn-Johnson.

Sun 2 June, Sunday after Ascension. 11Am. Hymns 352, 355, 388. Mass in E, Darke. Come Holy Ghost, Attwood. Fr Nigel. Bountiful Table.
6pm Choral Evensong & Benediction. Led by Rev Alison Whiting & Fr Nigel. Reading Responses. Psalm 68. Hymn 63. Brewer in D. Lift up your heads, O ye Gates – Mathias. O salutaris 269, Tantum Ergo 268.

St Michael’s worship is traditional, music is excellent, people are friendly, and all are welcome. Please join us. Pray for our continuing life & mission, and support your church with time, talents and giving.

A Joyful 50 days of Eastertide from all at St Michael’s.

Richard Barnes.

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Our resident Peregrine Falcons have laid 3 eggs this year; we hope for chicks to hatch around 10th May.

Sun 7 Apr, Passion Sunday. 11am Sung Mass. Byrd for 4 voices. Verily I say unto you, Tallis. Fr Christopher Durrant.
Sun 7 Apr, 6pm Choral Evensong & Benediction. Byrd Responses. Ps 22:1-13. Gibbons Short Service. Solus ad victimam, Leighton. Fr Nigel Guthrie.

Sun 14 Apr, Palm Sunday. 11am Procession of Palms and Sung Gospel. Tallis in Dorian mode. Byrd, Ave verum corpus. Fr C.

Holy Week at St Michael’s
Mon 15, Tue 16, & Wed 17 Apr. 10am Low Mass.

Wed 17 Apr, Spy Wednesday, 7pm. Stations of the Cross, Pergolesi “Stabat Mater”.

Thu 18 Apr, Maundy Thursday, 7.30pm Sung Mass with Foot-washing. Casciolini in A minor. Durufle, Ubi caritas et amor.Byrd, Ave verum corpus.

Fri 19 Apr, Good Friday, 10.30am Veneration of the Cross. The Reproaches, Upton. Crux Fidelis, King John of Portugal.

Good Friday, 8pm Tenebrae sung from the Gallery, Plainsong, Lassus & Palestrina.

Sat 20 Apr, Holy Saturday, 8pm Easter Vigil Mass with New Fire & Paschal Candle. Darke in E. Ex ore innocentium, Ireland.

Sun 21 Apr, Easter Day, 11am Festal Sung Mass. Ireland in C. Billings, Easter Anthem. Fr C.

Sun 28 Apr, Low Sunday, 11am Sung Mass. Wood in F. This joyful Eastertide. Fr Dominic Cyrus.

Sun 5 May, 11am Sung Mass, 6pm Choral Evensong & Benediction.

A Holy Passiontide & a Joyful Eastertide from all at St Michael’s.

Richard Barnes.

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My thoughts on a bountiful Easter Weekend, the Walk of Witness, Tenebrae, Easter Gardens and Storm Katie, are offered in an Easter Triptych for you to open and view.

And one I wrote earlier for Advent IV seemed appropriate in memory of Ronnie Corbett

Also the St Pythag’s April never-a-Crossword.
With 36 clues, many involving a P, most mentioned in St Pythag’s Blogs
over the past 2 years, 3 in Latin, some fairly silly, not sure how difficult it will be. Good Luck! Solution in a fortnight or so.

Allow me a lighter St Pythag’s moment, with some things that might have been overheard over Easter:-

Spring, when an old man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of gardening.

Why is Jesus riding on a llama, Daddy?
Because he’s the Llama of God, that takest away the sins of the world. (Have mercy upon me.)

It’s standard polyphony where the Sops go up and the Basses go down for the climax.

Jesus said, “Mary Easter!” and Mary replied, “Ravioli” which means Pasta. Jesus said, “Don’t tango with me.”
Or in another translation, “Don’t Klingon to me, for Scotty hath not yet beamed me up.”

Our Archbishop Josephine of Stonehenge, Primate of the Orthogonal Church of St Pythagoras, was so chastened and chased by the other Primates at the Tea Party in Canterbury in January that our Genial Synod has agreed to the Quod Erat Declaration that allows interchange of clergy between our Church and the CofE. This should allow a swift end to the interregnum at St Pythag’s and other exciting developments like the Shed of Pray down at the Allotments by the River Pyke, once I’ve had time to do some further writing. And how baby Carol, born to Jo & Mary in the Choir Vestry at Christmas, came back to St Pythag’s at Easter to be baptised.

Meanwhile, if you can cope with a bit of strong language and sexual references, I recommend Realms of Glory being blogged weekly by Catherine Fox. (You may have to scroll to bottom and hit older posts a few times to find Chapter 1.)

The name of St Pythag’s actually made it into print in the Church Times Caption Competition for Thurs 24th March, as the picture of the Bishop of Dudley putting on fireman’s breathing apparatus inspired “Full smoke, flame and water protection was advisable for Little St Pythag’s Patronal High Mass.” Kudos but no chocolate.

And as Archdruid Eileen of the Beaker Folk wrote during Lent – “The Genesis [a Rock Band, m'Lord] boys were just the right age to have grown up with optimism. The flower-power bunch thought that given enough love, enough drugs, enough sex, enough flowers and enough hair, the world could be put right. There was just one problem. Human nature.”

That’s why we still need Jesus, the Gospel, and Christianity. To take God seriously, but not ourselves too seriously. In the Happy Sundays of and after Easter, blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

Richard Barnes.

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Sunday 20th March, Palm Sunday, 10.30am (N.B. earlier start) Sung Mass with Blessing and Procession of Palms around Mount Dinham. Sung Passion Gospel. Mass in F by Harold Darke. Motet: When I survey the wondrous Cross, by Wilby. Celebrant is Ven David Gunn-Johnson.

Monday in Holy Week, 21st March, 10am, Low Mass said by Ven David Gunn-Johnson with short Homily by Br Michael Jerome.

Tuesday in Holy Week, 22nd March, 10am, Low Mass said by Canon Tom Honey with short Homily by Br Michael Jerome.

Tuesday in Holy Week, 6pm, Plainsong Vespers and Meditation. Choir Practice at 7pm.

Spy Wednesday, 23rd March, Morning Prayer at 9.30am, Low Mass at 10am.

Spy Wednesday 23rd March at 6pm, when Judas arranged to betray Jesus, the traditional 14 Stations of the Cross are prayed, with the singing of the devotional poem Stabat Mater Dolorosa to music by Charpentier for upper voices.

Maundy Thursday, 24th March, 6pm, Plainsong Vespers and Meditation.

Maundy Thursday, 24th March, Sung Mass at 7.30pm. We especially remember Jesus and his Disciples in the Upper Room, the Foot-washing, how the Last Supper became the First Holy Communion, the words of Jesus to his followers, and the Betrayal.

The Mass Setting is by Charles Wood in F, and the Anthems are “Ubi caritas et amor Deus ibi est” by the contemporary composer Paul Mealor and “God so loved the world” from Sir John Stainer’s Victorian meditation, The Crucifixion.

At the end of the service, the High Altar is stripped, the Blessed Sacrament carried to the Altar of Repose in the Lady Chapel, and the Watch is kept there through the night recalling Christ and his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane and then before Pontius Pilate.

Friday 25th March at 10.30am, Good Friday Liturgy. Reproaches, by former St Michael’s member, Chris Upton. Veneration of the Cross. Crux Fidelis, attr. King John IV of Portugal.

Good Friday, 8pm, Tenebrae. An ancient service sung in Latin and English from the West Gallery to plainsong and polyphony by Lassus (1532-1594) and Palestrina (1525-1594), ending in darkness and silence to symbolise Jesus’ descent to the dead.

Saturday 26th March, Holy Saturday 8pm – The Easter Vigil. We kindle the New Light, prepare and bless the Paschal Candles for St Michael’s and St David’s, hear the Exsultet, the proclamation of Christ’s Resurrection, and renew our Baptismal Vows.
Setting: Mass in C&F by Charles Villiers Stanford. Anthem: Out of the Stillness, by Richard Shephard to a poem by Jonathan Draper, Dean of Exeter.

Out of the stillness of dark before dawn,
In the still and the quiet and the damp of the night,
The morning star glimmers alone in the sky:
Signal of day, herald of light.

Deep in the stillness of anguish and fear
Lie hopes that were shattered by death and by doubt,
The husk of a dream lies empty and crushed,
Mind seeks for meaning, heart flickers out.

Out of the stillness the dawn comes again
Darkness is vanquished and hope is renewed
The sun has arisen, never to set,
A new day is dawning with heaven suffused.

Death with its terrors at last overcome
By one burst of light, by one gift of love.
Wholeness and healing and hope in his arms,
The sun has arisen with life for the world.

Easter Sunday, 27th March at 10.45am. (N.B. clocks will have gone forward one hour overnight!) Festal Sung Mass and Blessing of the Easter Garden.
All at St Michael’s wish you a Happy and Blessed Easter. Christ is Risen; He is risen indeed!
Introit: Sing out this Eastertide, by Graham Keitch.
Setting: Mass in G, Franz Schubert.
Motet: Haec Dies, by William Byrd.
This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Low Sunday, 3rd April, Sung Mass at 10.45am – it remains to be seen whether we can repeat the excitement of last year’s Easter Bonnet Parade, but please come and enjoy Spring worship and Easter Hymns with us anyway. Music is Darke in E Mass Setting and Easter Anthem by William Billings.

Sunday 3rd April may be Low Sunday but for our 6pm Choral Evensong & Benediction we will be in joyful Easter mood. Responses by Smith, Office Hymn 115, Psalm 16, and the Canticles, Mag & Nunc, will be Stanford in C.

Anthem:- Blessed be the God & Father by Samuel Sebastian Wesley (who died 19 April 1876 and is buried across the valley from Mount Dinham just below the Exeter Catacombs). Composed for Easter Sunday evensong at Hereford Cathedral, 1834, when only trebles and a single bass voice were available, hence the unison ATB passages. Words selected from 1st Epistle of Peter, chapter 1.

One of the few Feasts usually to occur within Lent, the Annunciation to the Blessed Virgin Mary this year is “transferred” from Holy Week to after the Octave of Easter, and will be celebrated at St Michael’s on Monday 4th April with Sung Mass at 7.30pm. Please note this date, which is also the CBS Mass for April. Setting “Missa Aeterna Christi Munera” by Palestrina; Motet “Ave Maria” by Parsons.

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Our nest box camera is back on the Peregrine page (you may need to “Allow Abode Flash”) hoping for egg laying around the Spring equinox, the Music List for March to May is online via the usual links, and our Interpretive Display Panel is in place.

Sunday 28 February, Lent 3, 10.45am. We sing the full Merbecke from his Praier Booke Noted of 1550, and Panis Angelicus arranged by our own Dr Nigel Browne from music by Cavalli.

Sun 28 Feb, in Exeter Cathedral at 6pm, take the opportunity to hear Exeter Bach Society’s liturgical performance of Bach Cantata 41 – Jesu, nun sei gepreiset (Jesus, now be praised),

Monday 29 February, a day once every four years to remember St Oswald, not the 7th century King of Northumbria commemorated on 5 August, but the 10th century Danish nephew of Archbishop Oda of Canterbury, who became a Benedictine monk at Fleury in France, then reforming Bishop of Worcester and Archbishop of York, and died 29 February 992 while washing the feet of the poor.

Tuesday 1 March at 6pm, CBS Mass at St Michael’s Mount Dinham with plainsong & hymns for St David’s Day. This is followed at 7pm up at St David’s Church by the Launch Event for their HLF sponsored Repair and Transformation Project to which all are welcome.

Plainsong Vespers and Meditation take place at 6pm on other Tuesdays and Thursdays throughout, and Stations of the Cross will be prayed at 6pm on Wednesdays 2, 9, & 16 March. Low Mass is said on Wednesdays at 10am, preceded by Morning Prayer.

Thursday 3 March, 7.30pm at St David’s Church, Robert Pocock talks about General Alexander Cavalie Mercer, Hero of Waterloo, whose recently restored grave is in St David’s Churchyard. Free entry.

Sunday 6 March, Lent 4 is Laetare or Mothering Sunday using our Rose Vestments, 10.45am. All welcome; posies will be blessed & presented. Mass in the Dorian Mode, by Tallis; “View me, Lord, a work of Thine” by Lloyd.

Sun 6 March at 6pm, this Choral Evensong & Benediction falls right in the middle of Lent and will feature music suitable to the Season. Singers who enjoy a good Choral Evensong are welcome to join us at 4.45pm to rehearse the music.

Today is also the 50th Anniversary of the closure of the Somerset & Dorset Railway.

Thursday 10 March, 7.30pm at St David’s Church, Dr Todd Gray talks about the Veitch family, famous Exeter horticulturists. Free entry.

Sunday 13 March, Passion Sunday when the Crosses and Statues are covered. 10.45am Sung Mass. “Missa Brevis” by Lotti; “Were you there when they crucified my Lord?” by Ogden.

Wednesday 16 March at 7.30pm. St Michael’s Lecture. Revd Dr Barry Norris, “Reflecting on the 2016 Primates Gathering: What does it means for Anglicanism?” All welcome, entry free.

Saturday 19 March at 7.30pm, Exeter University Singers give a Concert of a cappella music. Their programme of ‘Songs from the British Isles’ will include pieces by Parry, Elgar, Byrd and others. Admission £5 non-students, £3 students.

Sunday 20 March, Palm Sunday, 10.30am (N.B. earlier start). Sung Mass with Procession of Palms. Sung Passion Gospel. Darke in F; “When I survey the wondrous Cross” by Wilby.

Wed 23 March at 6pm, Spy Wednesday when Judas arranged to betray Jesus. The traditional 14 Stations of the Cross are prayed along with the singing of the devotional poem Stabat Mater Dolorosa to music by Charpentier.

Maundy Thursday, 24 March, Sung Mass at 7.30pm. We remember Jesus and his Disciples in the Upper Room, the Foot-washing, how the Last Supper became the First Holy Communion, the words of Jesus to his followers, and the Betrayal. Wood in F; Ubi caritas, Mealor; God so loved the world, Stainer.
At the end of the service the High Altar is stripped, and you may wish to watch at the Altar of Repose for part of the all night Vigil.

Friday 25 March, Good Friday Liturgy 10.30am. Reproaches, by Upton. Veneration of the Cross. Crux Fidelis, attr. King John IV of Portugal.

Good Friday, 8pm Tenebrae. An ancient service sung in Latin and English from the West Gallery to plainsong and polyphony by Lassus (1532-1594) and Palestrina (1525-1594). This profound and beautiful service takes us into the depths of Christ’s sufferings through Scripture and Music, ending in darkness and silence to symbolise Jesus’ descent to the dead.

Saturday 26 March, Holy Saturday 8pm – The Easter Vigil then brings us back from darkness into holy brightness. We kindle the New Light, prepare and bless the Paschal Candles for both St Michael’s and St David’s, hear the Exsultet, the proclamation of Christ’s Resurrection, and renew our Baptismal Vows. Stanford in C&F; Out of the Stillness, Shephard.

Easter Sunday, 27 March at 10.45am (N.B. Clocks will have gone forward 1 hour overnight!), Festal Sung Mass and Blessing of the Easter Garden. Introit – Sing out this Eastertide, Keitch; Mass in G, Schubert; Haec Dies, Byrd.

St Michael’s wishes you a Happy and Blessed Easter. Christ is Risen; He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

In case you were wondering, the intricacies of Julian & Gregorian Calendars and Paschal Moons mean that Orthodox Easter is on 1st May this year, a full 5 weeks after the West.

Sunday 3 April, Low Sunday, 10.45am. Sung Mass. Darke in E, Easter Anthem by Billings, and maybe an Easter Bonnet parade afterwards.

Sunday 3 April at 6pm – Choral Evensong & Benediction. Canticles: Stanford in C. Anthem: S S Wesley ‘Blessed be the God and Father’.

Monday 4 April please come to the Feast of the Annunciation transferred from Holy Week. Sung Mass at 7.30pm. Missa Aeterna Christi Munera, by Palestrina; Ave Maria, by Parsons.

And finally, interesting thoughts from Br Michael’s Lecture that for Jesus the Passion started alone (while his 3 closest disciples doze) with his mental agony in the Garden of Gethsemane (Thy Will, not mine be done) and with the Crown of Thorns as a symbol of both inner and outer suffering, before his eventual Easter victory.

For a lighter view of Lent, revisit last year’s St Pythag’s Lent Course with a few words of wisdom leavening the humour; it’s probably less obscure that Archdruid Eileen’s Lenten Study on Genesis (the rock band).

Richard Barnes.

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Thursday 23rd April at 6pm, in place of Vespers, CBS Mass for St George’s Day sung with Plainsong Propers and Hymns in the St Clement Chapel. All Welcome.

Sunday 26th April at 10.45am – 4th in/3rd after Easter. Mass. Setting: Darke in F. Anthem: Bairstow ‘Jesu, the very thought of thee’. Followed by a second (Re)Vision Day for St Michael’s, led by Sabrina Groeschel.

Monday 27th April, at St Michael’s, 7pm Holy Communion, 7.30pm, the important Annual Parochial Church Meeting to review and pray for our Churches’ life and mission.

Sunday 3rd May at 10.45am – 5th in/4th after Easter. Mass

Sunday 10th May at 10.45am – Sunday before Ascension, Rogation Sunday Procession. Mass

The post Easter Season at St Michael’s appeared first on St Michael & All Angels.

Easter came late to the fictitious Church of St Pythagoras & All Angles in the Diocese of Pychester this year. Lent started a week late at St Peregrine’s Cathedral as Dean Arius and Sister Tius were away on Retreat; an Alpine ski retreat with the catechumens of the confirmation class considering the spiritual similarities of the downhill slalom to the game of croquet. Rather than shorten Lent, using the so-called Fast Forward option, the whole Diocese decided to grow beards and keep Easter Julian calendar style with the Orthodox Church on 12th April.

With our best robes and bonnets, chanting, incense, hundreds of candles and tables groaning with food and drink, the Easter Vigil at St Pythag’s to my fanciful eye looks rather like a banquet in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Indeed, the purple robe, spear and stone have all played their hallowed parts in the story of the Passion and the love of Christ has triumphed, harrowing hell and dispelling the darknesses of this world with the grace and glory of his Resurrection. Alleluia!

A few relevant words for the Oxford Movement English Dictionary ;-)>>
Church Plant – the trendy way of being Church, especially useful for clergy bored with a grumpy old Parish and looking for a new model to revive their flagging liturgy.
Episcopally – friendly with the Bishop, or a narrow Dickensian street where Bishops and actresses ply their trade.
Peregrinus – term used during the early Roman empire to denote a free provincial subject of the Empire who was not a Roman citizen, hence a wanderer or pilgrim.
Pilgrimage of Greys – a Saga holiday tour.
Plantagenet – even better than a Church Plant at bringing in new people, especially for a Cathedral.
Procrastination – to be defined tomorrow.
Spring – when an old man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of gardening.
Trendy – in church terms, adopting musical, management and training styles that were popular in society and business 15 years ago, and now largely discredited.
True Romance – where a Cornish clergyman might live.

Given recent events in Leicester surrounding King Richard III, it seems clear that it is not Church Plants but the Church Plantagenet that will bring in new worshippers. Nevertheless, inspired by the beauty of St Pythag’s Easter Garden, our Bishop of Pychester has taken up the challenge, issued recently by the Bishop of London, to be the new Bishop for Church Plants. After pottering around his Palace gardens during Lent with a copy of “A Brief History of Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme”, Bishop Rick is ready to modernise the Diocese this Spring by establishing the Fellowship of Saints Bill & Ben and the Blessed Weed to prick out and pot on radical young disciples for the task.

Church Planting has a long and diverse history; not justin the Early Church, but with Saints Francis and Dominic stirring up the complacent 13th century Catholic church with their make do & mendicant orders of Friars and Preachers, and with Whitefield and the Wesleys riding rough-shod over the sleepy 18th century CofE to build Methodism. In response to the Industrial Revolution, numerous inner-city Anglo-Catholic Parishes were spawned as the Victorian Oxford Movement took root.

Bishop Rick has been busy trying to replace the complicated and controversial theories of the Atonement with theories of the Allotment. But he found there an equally wide spectrum, from the infra-Liberal ‘weeds are plants too’, to the ultra-Calvinist ‘selecting only the perfect’ for the Flower and Produce Judgement. From the Garden of Eden to images of wheat & tares growing together, pruning for more fruit, and Mary Magdalen meeting the risen Jesus in the Garden, there’s plenteous food for thought. Is God the Groundforce of our being, and just how much incense does it take to fumigate the Potting Shed?

So, the plan is, those churches that were successful in bids to the Thatch Repair Fund are safe, but, given the shortage of affordable barn conversions in the diocese, many listed chocolate-box churches with only a few toffees and humbugs left in their congregations will be sold off to our friends in the City for redevelopment.

This financial windfall will fund the building of 50 Sheds of Pray on village greens and allotments across the county, equipped with state-of-the-art sound systems and giant display screens, replacing troublesome musicians and boring old books. This will be especially useful for Baptism Services, when the Font size can be adjusted to fit the baby, and, with virtual reality headsets, adults can even opt for the total immersion experience.

Indeed, we foresee the day when multi-sensory headsets will mean that everyone can worship at home or on the golf course or moor or beach, with the sacrament delivered by 3-D printer. To this end, as Parish Priests retire they will be replaced by Sacrament Facilitators based in the Diocesan Centre of Online Liturgy (COOL). To oversee consistency with the Archiepiscopal Mainframe, we are advertising for a Director of Digital Mission Facilitation.

“Are you fed up with PCC Meetings? Bored with Parish Ministry? Do you think pastoral work is so passé? Rejuvenate your career with our Mission position. Well-equipped office, attractive salary and secretary. You could overturn decades of faithful informed local ministry, clone Shed-based fresh infusions of church in far-flung corners of the Diocese, and be back in time for Choral Evensong in the Cathedral.”

Now, our Cathedral of St Peregrine may not have a mediaeval monarch to rebury, but under its car park lie our Roman Baths and Temple of Mithras. With generous funding from Wessex Olde Things and the Big Raffle, we had planned to develop these as an exclusive spiritual health spa and gym, a fresh expression of muscular Christianity, until someone mentioned the recent bad events at Pagford (where were the churches?). It looks like we will have to go with a multi-sensory 4-D interactive virtual pilgrimage “Festivals of Wessex” from Stonehenge to Glastonbury and a Heritage Garden Centre for Church Plants.

After the success of “Italy Unpacked” on the BBC, Spring on PyTV will feature the popular Food & Travel programme “O Taste and See” exploring Wessex from the ancient croquet playing Cerne Abbas Giant to the sun-worshipping surfers of St Ives. Andy (I look at things) and George (I cook things) will travel the highways and by-ways of the West Country in search of the best in art, food and religion. Will they be visiting your cathedral refectory, church, festival or allotment shed?

The Science Angle.
How to remember the Colours of the Rainbow. The church horticultural is no longer comfortable with the aggressive associations of “battle” and “violet”, nor with the imperial tone of purple, preferring the more gentle lilac, so the revised common mnemonic will be:-
(Son of) Richard Of York Got (re)Buried In Leicester.

Sorry if I’m a bit ambivalent about the CofE’s new-found enthusiasm for Church Plants; fine where they are truly cultivating new ground in the widest sense, but not fine to replace the variegated life of our Parishes with a liturgically-modified monoculture of clones of the Holy Top Brand franchise.

Hope you have had a Happy and Joyful Easter,
Richard the Barnes.

For a more elegant and ultimately hopeful satire on the future of the Church of England, try the following little story from Prof Martyn Percy, Dean of Christ Church, Oxford:- Sorry, this link is no longer available.
Faith in the Free-Market: A Cautionary Tale.

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Sunday 22nd March, Passion Sunday when the Crosses and Statues are covered. 10.45am. Mass in A minor, by Casciolini and the Anthem, Crucifixus etiam pro nobis, by Lotti.

Wednesday 25th March please try and come to the Feast of the Annunciation. Sung Mass at 7.30pm. Missa “Dixit Maria” by Hans Leo Hassler. Anthem: Hymn to the Virgin, by Benjamin Britten.

Sunday 29th March, Palm Sunday, 10.30am (N.B. earlier start and the clocks will have gone forward an hour overnight!) Sung Mass with Blessing and Procession of Palms. Sung Passion Gospel. Mass in D by Leighton. Anthem: Pueri Hebraeorum, by Victoria.

Wednesday 1st April at 6pm, Spy Wednesday when Judas arranged to betray Jesus, the traditional 14 Stations of the Cross are prayed along with the singing of the devotional poem Stabat Mater Dolorosa to music by Charpentier.

Stations of the Cross are said weekly during Lent on Wednesdays, except Feast of the Annunciation (25th Mar), but today the prayers and meditation are enhanced by a simple setting of the Stabat Mater.

Maundy Thursday, 2nd April, Sung Mass at 7.30pm. We especially remember Jesus and his Disciples in the Upper Room, the Foot-washing, how the Last Supper became the First Holy Communion, the words of Jesus to his followers, and the Betrayal.
The Mass Setting is Missa Brevis by Lotti, and the Anthems are “Ubi caritas et amor Deus ibi est” by the contemporary composer Paul Mealor and “God so loved the world” from Sir John Stainer’s Victorian meditation, The Crucifixion.

At the end of the service, the High Altar is stripped, the Blessed Sacrament carried to the Altar of Repose in the Lady Chapel, and the Watch is kept there through the night recalling Christ and his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane and then before Pontius Pilate.

Friday 3rd April, Good Friday 10.30am Good Friday Liturgy. Reproaches, by Upton. Veneration of the Cross. Crux Fidelis, attr. King John IV of Portugal.

Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis: nulla silva talem profert, fronde, flore, germine.
Dulce lignum, dulces clavos, dulce pondus sustinet.

Faithful Cross, among all, the one noble tree; no other forest offers such leaf, flower and seed. Sweet the wood, sweet the nails, sweet the weight it bears.

Part of a 6th century hymn by Venantius Fortunatus written for the procession that brought a part of the true Cross to the Frankish Queen Radegunda in 570. Interestingly, she is a patron saint of Jesus College, Cambridge, which was founded on the site of the 12th century Nunnery, and has a chapel in Exeter Cathedral named after her.

Although King John IV of Portugal (1604-1656) was an accomplished musician and composer, the Crux fidelis attributed to him cannot be traced to earlier than mid-19th century France. His extensive library was destroyed with much else in the tragic Lisbon earthquake of 1755.

Good Friday, 8pm Tenebrae. An ancient service sung in Latin and English from the West Gallery to plainsong and polyphony by Lassus (1532-1594) and Palestrina (1525-1594), ending in darkness and silence to symbolise Jesus’ descent to the dead.

Saturday 4th April, Holy Saturday 8pm – The Easter Vigil . We kindle the New Light, prepare and bless the Paschal Candles for St Michael’s and St David’s, hear the Exsultet, the proclamation of Christ’s Resurrection, and renew our Baptismal Vows.
Setting: Fitzwilliam Mass by Alex West. Anthem: Lift up your heads, O ye gates, from Handel’s Messiah.

Easter Sunday, 5th April at 10.45am, Festal Sung Mass and Blessing of the Easter Garden.
All at St Michael’s wish you a Happy and Blessed Easter.  Christ is Risen; He is risen indeed!
Introit: Surrexit Christus Dominus, Michael Praetorius (1571-1621) died on his 50th birthday and is buried in Wolfenbuettel.
Setting: Kleine Orgelmesse, Franz Joseph Haydn (1732-1809) prolific Classical composer.
Motet: Easter Anthem, William Billings (1746-1800) of Boston, Massachusetts, is widely regarded as the first American choral composer.
The Lord is ris’n indeed, Hallelujah.
Now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the first fruits of them that slept.
Hallelujah. And did He rise?
Hear, O ye nations, hear it, O ye dead.
He rose, He burst the bars of death, He burst the bars of death and triumph’d o’er the grave.
Then I rose, then first humanity triumphant passed the crystal ports of light, and seiz’d eternal youth.
Man, all immortal hail, hail; Heaven, all lavish of strange gifts to man;
Thine’s all the glory, man’s the boundless bliss.

Since it is the first Sunday of April as well as Easter Day, there will also be Festal Choral Evensong and Benediction at 6pm. The music will be Thomas Tallis’s Festal Responses, Canticles by Herbert Brewer in D, and Anthem “This Joyful Eastertide” by Charles Wood. Benediction Hymns to the familiar plainsong.

Richard Barnes.

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